Call of the wild.

I got Tony some shopping. He's still laid up with his knee injury.

I went to his room to deliver him some paracetamol and his change. The room was thick with the smell of rancid farts. My eyes were burning.

Me: Jesus Tone! What the fuck?! Open a window or something. It stinks in here.

Tony: Oh! Does it?

Tony opened a window and sprayed deodorant, blowing the combined stench of shit and Lynx Africa around the house.

Be careful what you ask for...