Colour me confused

Tony walked into the kitchen and observed me on a step ladder, very obviously painting the ceiling.
"Oi kin smell paint!", he said, with a baffled look.
🙄

To bath or cry..

I noticed that the bath had been cleaned more vigorously than usual, and that the collection of empty 'product' bottles had been removed.

Me: Did you clean around the bath Tony?
(long pause)
Tony: Uh...yeah?
Me: You know those bottles around the tap end?
Tony: Yeah. I frew em.
Me: Yeah, I noticed that. But you left some.
Tony: Did I?
Me: Yeah. Are they yours? It feels like they've been there ages.
Tony: Oh. Dunno.
Me: Well what were your criteria for throwing things away?
Tony: Eh?
Me: When you were deciding what to throw away, what criteria did they have to satisfy? What questions did you ask?
Tony: Well nuthin. If they wuz empty I frew 'em.
Me: Ok, so I'm thinking you asked yourself "Is it mine?" and "Is it empty?"
Tony: Er...yeah. Spose.
Me: So what was it about the ones you left?
Tony: Dunno. They're full?
Me: I'm asking YOU Tony. Are they yours? Do you still need them?
Tony: I dunno.
Me: You only did it yesterday! How can you not know? You looked at all those bottles and decided to throw some and to keep some.
Tony: Oh....did I?
Me: Forget it.

Sneeze Louise

Tony doesn't really get sick, like colds and flu's, so it's unusual to see him display symptoms.
He sneezed as he left his bedroom on his way to work.

Me: Not often I hear you sneeze mate.
Tony: Well, that's good innit?
Me: Uh, yeah.....except you just sneezed.

No point lying over off milk.

Tony: Got you some milk
Me: Oh yeah? How come?
Tony: Used some of yours.
Me: Oh. OK. Where is it?
Tony: In the fridge door.
Me: Well, thanks!
(Pause)
Tony: Well it was going off anyway.
Me: What was?
Tony: The milk. It had been there ages so it was probably going off anyway.
Me: Rubbish.
Tony: Eh?
Me: Brads got it Friday. Don't come the hero saving me from gone off milk. Should've left it at "I got you some milk".
Tony: Oh.....I wuz at the shop down uh.....swomenfesterdee....

Microwave went 'bing' and he shuffled off. Never got to the end of that sentence.
🙄

Down hill struggle

Tony needed to change his diet following his heart attack. This meant more variety and more cupboard and freezer space required.

Tony: Got a food delivery coming tomorrow. Frozen stuff.
Me: Oh. And you checked there was enough space for it in the freezer?
Tony: No.
Me: How much is there?
Tony: Quite a lot I think.
Me: So what are you going to do if it doesn't fit?
Tony: I'll take it down the hill I spose.
Me: To work?
Tony: Yeah. I'll put it in the freezers there.
Me: But you're not allowed to do hills.
Tony: I can go down them!

Last Christmas....

Tony had a heart attack.
He spent a couple nights in the hospital and is ok. There's a new set of rules and diet and exercise etc. but there's a whole new paddling pool of accidental comedy to swish about in.

Tony's sister gave him a lift home from the hospital.
Me: Hey! How's it going?
Tony: Alright. Bit sore.
(some other small talk)
Me: Well, hey! You get to spend Christmas with your family! That's nice!
Tony: Yeah...had to have a heart attack though.
His sister: Could have just asked, I suppose.
Tony: Yeah.