Richard's house of names

Watching "Richard's house of games" with Tony. There is a round where you get two clues and the answers rhyme. You have to get both for a point. 

Correctly identifying only the second half of the clue, Tony declares loudly "Bat out of hell!".

He was right, but of course you need both halfs. The other half was "Saved by the Bell", in case you are interested.

When the answers were revealed, he triumphantly punched the air, gloating at his correct half an answer.

"Bat out of hell!", he bellowed, "I said that!", looking for approval, "Meatball!"

🤣

Wild life

A bit of background: Tony is very vocally expressive when humoured. His variety of laughs is extensive and his cackles can be heard by neighbouring occupants. It has been likened to "feeding time at the zoo".

Dougall was preparing a pot noodle in the kitchen. He yawned loudly and theatrically developed it into some sort of jungle monkey impression. I commented that Tony could join in with some of his animal impressions, by which, of course, I was referring to his array of animal laughs.

Immediately though, he embarked on a rather impressive impression by "hoo"ing a note while wobbling his tongue in his mouth - not what I was expecting!

Me: Was that a turkey?! 

Tony: (very pleased with himself) Yeah! (he draws breath and goes for another) COO-coo...COO-coo.

Me: ...a cuckoo?

Tony: Well....dunno do I..it's definitely summink.

😂

Doorbhell

I bought a smart doorbell. It has PIR motion detection as well as the standard doorbell, and I wanted to test it without permanently mounting it on the front door, so I put it in a busy part of the house while I tested the settings to trim the sensitivity.

When it senses movement, the button lights up, as if to say "Hi! I'm a doorbell! Press here."

Tony noticed a new thing lighting up. 

"What's that thing flashing out here? Looks like a camera or something. " 

"It's a doorbell. I'm testing it."

.....

🤔very long pause🤔

..... 

"Wouldn't it be better outside?"

🤣 

I'm sorry, I Hoven't a clue.

Watching the Brighton and Hove Albion vs Portsmouth Carabao Cup game with Tony.

Me: See that McAllister with the flaming red hair and beard and the slightly translucent blue/pink skin?

Tony: Yeah. 

Me: Guess where he's from. 

(I was setting him up. He's Argentinian.)

Tony: Dunno. 

Me: Come on.. 

Tony: What team, you mean? 

Me: Well he's clearly playing for Brighton. 

Tony: I thought you meant what other team. 

🤪

It ain't 'alf hot mum.

Tony had had a bath.

Me: Was there enough hot water? 

Tony: It weren't boiling. 

Me: You don't want it boiling. 

Tony: I said it WASN'T boiling!

Summink covered in wassname

Tony: You ordering summink?

Dougall: Yeah. Curry. Do you want something? 

Tony: Oh er....yeah. (clearly wanted Chinese or kebab) 

Tony goes to his room. 

Dougall: What d'you want then? 

Tony:... 

Dougall: Tone? What do you want? 

Tony reappears like none of that had happened. 

Tony: eh? 

Dougall: What do you want from the Indian? 

Tony: Oh....summink covered in wassname. 

Dougall: Eh? 

Tony disappears again. 

Dougall: What do you want Tony?! 

Tony: Eh? Oh....just chips. 

Curried fervour.

Tony was going to the Chinese. He absolutely always gets chicken curry, no onions, and egg fried rice.

He asked me if I wanted something.

"D'you want sumfin downstairs?" 

He always asks if I want something from downstairs, where he means down town or down the hill.

I don't know if that's a joke or a mistake.

I asked for a house special curry and egg fried rice and a diet coke.

Back about 45 mins later, he brought in a tub of brown and a tub of white and a diet coke and put them on the table.

I was sorting a billing problem with Vodafone, so thanked him and left them there.

About five minutes later he came in with confusion written all over his face.

"'ere...d'you 'ave onions in your curry?"

"I don't know. Never had it before. I assume so."

"Mine's got onions!", disgusted. 

He walks out.

Immediately, my head says "he's given you the wrong one"

Then he comes back in and says "You got chicken in your coke?"

"Eh? Do you mean curry?"

"No...*chicken!!", very aggravated. 

He goes out again.

Comes back in. Even more confused.

"Mine's got like....other meat in it, and onions! What did you order?"

"House special curry. You ordered it Tone! You were there!"

"But mine's got onions in it! I don't want onions."

....I'm waiting for the penny to drop...

"What do you want Tone? Do you want me to fish the onions and meat out of yours?"

"ugh....they must've give me the wrong one!"

"Ok... What do you want me to do about that?"

Then he went in to the kitchen and came back with it. Showing me, but he's looking so close at it (he's very short sighted) that he's nearly got his nose in it, and he was prodding at it.

"I reckon this is yours!", accusingly, like I took his. 

I haven't even touched them at this stage. 

"Well get your fucking nose out of it then! It's simple Tony. You've given me the wrong one."

"Oh.........can I have that one then?"

"Well...of course you can. It's yours!"

He goes out to the kitchen with it.

I hear him peel the top back. 

"What's in it?"

"Uhhhhh....looks like chicken"

"Any onions?"

"Uhhhhh......no!", like he's just witnessed the world's best magic trick. 

"So that's yours then."

"Uhhh. Yeah, spose.."

Ain't gotnee.

Tony: Want anyfink down stairs?

Me: Eh? Down stairs?

Tony: Shops. I'm going down.

Me: Milk and bread?

Tony: They ain't gotnee.

Me: How do you know?

Tony: Ain't had anything for days.

Me: What are you going for then?

Tony: Just in case they've got something.

Me: Well just in case they've got milk and bread, I'll have milk and bread please. Do you want money?

Tony: Give it me when I get back.

Me: Why would I give you money? I thought they didn't have any.

Tony: Might 'ave!

Roadside rumpus.

I became aware of a rumpus outside the front of the house on the street.

beepbeepbeep, door slams, another door slams, heavy chain noises, clanking, a ratchet sound kdngkdngkdng, another door slams, a heavy pneumatic device noise, a bit of shouting, more pneumatics, clunkclunkclunk, kdngkdngkdng, phweeeeesht, shouting, door slams, chains again....

I was getting curious. We live on a main road, so noises are fairly normal, but this much?! 

Tony has a ground floor room next to the road. He always knows what's going on out there. 

I knocked on his door. 

Tony: Ello? 

Me: What's going on? 

Tony (defensive): Well, it ain't me, is it! 

🤣