'allo?

Tony: It is I, Éclair.

Me: No it's not. 

Tony: Yeah it is! Matey off 'allo 'allo...with the glasses. 

Me: That's LeClerc.

Tony: What's éclair then? 

Me: It's a French pastry with cream and chocolate. 

Tony: Oh yeah! Nice!

Cyclepath

Yesterday, watching the tour de France:

Tony: I used to watch this. Always thought I'd like to give it a try.

Me: The tour de France? 

Tony: Yeah.....when I was younger I mean.

Me: You know what they do, right? 

Tony: Oh yeah. I know it's tough. Problem is all the training. I wouldn't have had the time.

Me: With all due respect mate, these people are superheroes. 

Tony: I used to cycle to Pangbourne to see me gran.

Me: 🙄

Today watching the tour de France:

Tony: Oh! They're at it again then? 

Me: Yeah....you do realise what this is, right?

Tony: Oh yeah. 

Me: They cycle 3000 km in 21 days with 2 days off.

Tony: What?! 

Me: Yeah. Around 200 kms a day at around 50 km/h. And it's not flat. There are mountains. Proper steep mountains.

Tony: Blimey. My arse used to hurt cycling to me grans. 

Me: These guys live in pain I reckon.

Pause

Tony: Where is it then? In a foreign country?

Me: .....what? The tour de France?

Tony: Yeah.......oh! It's actually in France then?

🤣