Curried fervour.

Tony was going to the Chinese. He absolutely always gets chicken curry, no onions, and egg fried rice.

He asked me if I wanted something.

"D'you want sumfin downstairs?" 

He always asks if I want something from downstairs, where he means down town or down the hill.

I don't know if that's a joke or a mistake.

I asked for a house special curry and egg fried rice and a diet coke.

Back about 45 mins later, he brought in a tub of brown and a tub of white and a diet coke and put them on the table.

I was sorting a billing problem with Vodafone, so thanked him and left them there.

About five minutes later he came in with confusion written all over his face.

"'ere...d'you 'ave onions in your curry?"

"I don't know. Never had it before. I assume so."

"Mine's got onions!", disgusted. 

He walks out.

Immediately, my head says "he's given you the wrong one"

Then he comes back in and says "You got chicken in your coke?"

"Eh? Do you mean curry?"

"No...*chicken!!", very aggravated. 

He goes out again.

Comes back in. Even more confused.

"Mine's got like....other meat in it, and onions! What did you order?"

"House special curry. You ordered it Tone! You were there!"

"But mine's got onions in it! I don't want onions."

....I'm waiting for the penny to drop...

"What do you want Tone? Do you want me to fish the onions and meat out of yours?"

"ugh....they must've give me the wrong one!"

"Ok... What do you want me to do about that?"

Then he went in to the kitchen and came back with it. Showing me, but he's looking so close at it (he's very short sighted) that he's nearly got his nose in it, and he was prodding at it.

"I reckon this is yours!", accusingly, like I took his. 

I haven't even touched them at this stage. 

"Well get your fucking nose out of it then! It's simple Tony. You've given me the wrong one."

"Oh.........can I have that one then?"

"Well...of course you can. It's yours!"

He goes out to the kitchen with it.

I hear him peel the top back. 

"What's in it?"

"Uhhhhh....looks like chicken"

"Any onions?"

"Uhhhhh......no!", like he's just witnessed the world's best magic trick. 

"So that's yours then."

"Uhhh. Yeah, spose.."